There is tremendous freedom in being able to be your authentic self and to speak up when needed, especially to advocate for worthy causes or on behalf of the business associates you work with. Too often women, and moreover, women of color, are cautioned to ‘tone it down’ because they will be perceived as being ‘emotional’, and in my case una Latina loca. I’m honored to have been invited to be part of a panel of Latino leaders in the Orlando region who later this month will discuss how to manage differences of opinion and living/working together in a multicultural environment. The event entitled SPEAK UP! is hosted by the Hispanic American Professional & Business Women’s Association (HAPBWA). This opportunity could not come at a better time. I’ll tell you why.
I was just recently described as ‘emotional’ by a fellow CEO. I was confused by the comment for a nanosecond because I’m pretty sure it was intended to point out a weakness in me. However, I actually took it as a compliment. You see, if I see someone that I care about (client, partner, colleague, collaborator, etc.) getting ready to make a bad business decision, I will definitely verbalize my concern with good rationale as back-up and a healthy amount of emotion to support it. By the same token, if a business acquaintance reaches a major milestone or accomplishment my immediate reaction is an enthusiastic ¡¡¡BRAVO!!! because I know all too well that it’s a dog eat dog world out there, and every success (large or small) is something worth savoring and celebrating.
These are easy to identify examples, and what most would consider for the most part acceptable demonstrations, of emotional feedback. But what happens when you are doing your work with the passion and dedication you are committed to always delivering and you are faced with deep frustration or overwhelming gratitude, a betrayal or a setback, an injustice or disrespectful treatment? I’ll share what I experience…first, a fire starts burning in the pit of my stomach. It then spreads like wildfire – quick and with a fury – until it reaches my chest. For me it’s a primal response to most of these triggers. Finally, there are three physical release valves that can possibly go off (only one or all at once depending on the trigger and its intensity). They are:
- Mi boca (my mouth): I will voice what my heart and soul are feeling because I care about the situation, and I refuse to ‘tone it down’.
- Mis ojos (my eyes): I may tear-up or just flat out start crying because I care and I’m human, and quite frankly, I like being human.
- Mi mente (my brain): I will instantly start looking for how to reconcile my emotional state with the right course of action because, again, I care and I’m in the business of coming up with solutions.
I own it. I’m emotional…and it’s a good thing. Other people call it passionate, driven, assertive, hot-headed, fierce, genuine, direct, etc. So, if you hear me speak up, pause and listen. I mean no harm. I just care about what’s going on, whether business related or about the community. If you see me crying, please don’t judge me. Instead ask me what moved me so much that I’m brought to tears. It’s probably something amazing and you’ll wind up crying with me. And if you see me taking action and reaching out to others at a moment’s notice, it’s because I see them as allies that can help address a situation that needs special attention and care. In essence, I’m emotional because I care.
Please join us January 30 from 8am – 10am at Nova Southeastern University. I’m very excited to participate on this panel with Judge Wilfredo Martinez, Attorney Camila Pachón, and Marriage and Family Therapist and Life Coach, Marlene Silva – humans who also care and that I admire very much.
